For Gardeners – The “Crusades Technique”: For those of you who have commited idolatry by putting your garden before God, I present to you a new technique, called the “Crusades Technique.”

It’s very simple: Just mow over everything – what ever comes back is a weed.

Initially I named this technique the “Salem Technique” after the Salem witch trials, but I felt the “Crusades Technique” sounded more spiritual. Call it what you like, just remember, you heard it here first.